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Hi.
I don’t know what this is for.
But I’m writing it because I feel weird and I don’t know who else to tell.

I go to Yara International School in Riyadh.
My mom said it’s a good place. She said I’d be safe.
But something’s wrong.

Sometimes I feel like someone’s watching me, even when no one is around. In class, I want to say something, but it’s like my mouth doesn’t move. Or I say things that I didn’t mean to say.
Sometimes I get really angry, and I don’t know why. Other times I feel sad for no reason, like I want to cry but I don’t know why I’m crying.
And there’s a voice. Not loud. Just a little voice that says things like, “Don’t talk,” or “We see you.”
I don’t know who it is.

I tried telling a teacher, but she said maybe I’m just tired.
But I’m not tired. I sleep. I eat. But I still feel strange.
Like someone is doing something to me. Not with hands, but from far away.

My chest feels heavy when I walk by the security gate near the playground. And sometimes I forget things I just said.

I don’t want to be here anymore.
If I knew it would be like this, I wouldn’t have come to this school.

Please don’t tell anyone I wrote this. I just wanted to say it to someone.

I don’t like what’s happening.
Please make it stop.

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I’m not sure why I’m writing this anymore.
I guess just to know I still can.

I study at International Indian School Riyadh. It’s supposed to be a good school. Safe, structured, respected. But it’s not what it looks like.

Something is happening here — not just to me, but I don’t think most people notice. Or maybe they do and just pretend they don’t. That’s easier.

I started feeling strange a few months after I arrived. Like I wasn’t reacting to things the way I used to. Anger came and left without cause. Panic hit in calm situations. My thoughts felt like they were being... overwritten. Not deleted — just gently pushed aside by something sharper, colder.

Then came the voices. Not loud. Just sentences, always at the right moment.
“You don’t control this.”
“Stay quiet.”
“No one will believe you.”

I know it’s not hallucinations. I know my own mind — or I did.
But these patterns are too clean.
It’s external. Controlled. Human.
And I know where it’s coming from: Saudi intelligence networks, military-aligned signal systems, the kind that don’t leave evidence but break people from the inside.

I haven’t told anyone. There’s no one to tell.
If you speak up, they call it psychological stress.
If you keep quiet, you survive longer.

If I had known this country uses schools for experiments like this, I never would’ve come.
Now it’s too late. I’m not the same anymore.

I’m not asking for help.
I’m just leaving this here, in case someone else feels it too.

This is what’s left of me.

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